Society & One-Legged Dharma-Part 3- Eleven Points on Dharma

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Nithin Sridhar
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I will pen-down my comments and opinions on various social issues under the title "Society & One-Legged Dharma" pointing out how most of the ills of the society has been caused due to forsaking of Dharma by people. In Hindu scriptures, the Dharma represented by a Bull is said to stand on four legs in Satya Yuga, when most people practiced and lived life by Dharma. "Four-Legs" denotes that Dharma was firmly established in society. On the other hand, it is said that,in Kali Yuga, Dharma stands only on One-Leg. We have been witnessing this in our society, where qualities like truth, non-violence, compassion, honesty have lost their value and replaced by untruth, deviousness, corruption, violence etc.
The series of writings under this title is my humble attempt to revive Dharma by making people become aware of them.
-Nithin Sridhar
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Eleven Points on Dharma

 1. Much of the ills of the present society can be solved if people simply start adhering to the tenets of Dharma.
2.The problems of corruption,black-money, illegal mining,scams would not have happened if people had followed Asteya-Non Stealing.
3.The caste discrimination, Dowry burning,religious riots, Honour killings would not have happened if people adhered to Ahimsa-Non Violence.
4. The condition of Ganges, the problems of toilet, sanitation,pollution etc are due to non adherence to Shaucha- Cleanliness.
5. Rape, Murder, Family Dispute, Property Dispute etc are due to Non-adherance to Ahimsa, Asteya & Indriya Nigraha.
6. Ahimsa includes not causing harm through mind, words or actions. Hence, all such incidents of violence could be avoided.
7. Indriya Nigraha- by controlling one's mind & senses- greed, lust etc can be suppressed avoiding rape, sexual assault, etc
8. The rape & other assaults like eve teasing, acid attack, dowry burning etc have their source in lust,ego & desire to dominate.
9. If, people start following Ahimsa & Indriya Nigraha in thoughts, speech & Violence,most crimes against women will not take place.
10. The very discrimination & related violence in name of caste, language, religion will be absent if people practiced Ahimsa.
11. Hence, the solution to the problems that affects India is in the Revival of Dharma.

Dharmo Rakshati Rakshitah.
 

Badges that say 'I Respect Women'

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Pratyasha Nithin

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(This article was published in UDAY INDIA weekly on December 1st, 2012 in both internet and print editions)

Recently, a news report was published in The Telegraph (July 18, 2013) about Tourism Ministry wanting to promote “I Respect Women” badges across the hospitality industry to assure the women tourists (especially the foreigners tourists) that it is safe to travel in India. The report said that the badges would be printed in 10 languages- Hindi, Arabic, Chinese, French, Spanish, Italian, Korean, Russian, German and Japanese. The badges are planned to be distributed to the auto-rickshaw and taxi drivers, guides, coolies, travel agents and all personnel likely to interact with tourists. Further, the tourism minister K.Chiranjeevi was quoted as saying- “Anyone wearing this badge is standing up and declaring that he will always respect women. That he cannot be counted among the people who assault women". This may turn out to be a good start, but how are we going to make sure that the people who will wear these badges will actually mean those words?

It’s easy to wear a badge and it will surely help raise confidence in women to travel fearlessly. But what if a man wearing this badge actually does not implement the words printed on it and instead mistreats the woman who had believed in him? Will the woman be able to trust a man ever? I believe, this kind of incident will fill her heart with anger and hatred for the whole man-kind. Hence, as a first step these badges are a good idea but it should be followed with comprehensive measures to make sure that, the people who wear those badges also implement the words “I respect women”.  .

In India, there are a large number of men who do not consider women as an equally important part of the society. Some of them think that women are only to do the household works and to raise kids. Many others may allow their women to work and do what they wish for, but the very fact that women are being “allowed” to do something, work or otherwise shows that, there is no freedom and personal space for women in such households. A marriage is supposed to be one of commitment and not compromise, one of liberty, personal space and understanding and not of restrictions and compromises where the women are made to take permission before doing anything. The reason forwarded for such restrictions are that those men care for their women and want them to be secure. But the question is who is making the life of women insecure? Is it not men themselves?

The society is so corrupt that it is unable to see the hypocrisy hidden within it. The men may visit Vaishno Devi every year but in many of their houses the women are treated as nothing more than a servant. Some women raise their voices but most do not because of the typical mentality that it is the right of a man to have his way around woman. And it is this attitude which should change.

In another news report, a retired government employee was arrested for allegedly raping his five daughters for twenty years (Business Standard, July 17, 2013). This case came to light only when the accused man tried to misbehave with his three year old granddaughter due to which his daughter, the mother of the child, lodged the complaint against him. The five sisters remained silent all those years of sexual abuse. If the eldest sister had raised her voice when she was abused, the abuse of her younger sisters could have been averted. It has come to light that, even the wife of the accused was aware of her husband’s activities and supported him.

These kinds of men, who treat their women badly, could be anywhere. He may be a company head or an auto-rickshaw driver on the road. Now if these men cannot respect the women of their own family, can we expect them to respect the women of other families? The answer is a simple “No”. Similarly, those men, who cannot respect the women of their own country, how can we expect them to respect the women of other countries? Do we have a mechanism to know how the taxi drivers, travel agents and all the personnel likely to interact with tourists treat their women in their houses? If not, then can we really expect that by making these people wear badges, the women touring the country will be safe? I don’t think so.

The root of all these problems faced by women lies in the mentality and thinking of the society, both men and women, who always hold a woman responsible for every abuse, violence or any other crimes that are committed against women. Whenever an incidence of rape or sexual assault comes to news, it is often heard both from the ‘representatives’ of society and from the common folks in the neighborhood about how women who visit pubs or make acquaintance with men are asking to be abused and raped. The character of a woman is always the first thing that is questioned. Why do we, the members of this society always indulge in this blame game? Can we not just introspect ourselves and recognize that the only fault that exists in the society is in its mindset that does not respect women, that does not recognize women as being as much human beings as men. No matter what a woman is asking for, can the society not respect them and stop doubting the character of women? Even if a woman is a prostitute or stands naked in front of a man, the man does not get the right to mistreat or rape her. Yet, abuse of women- verbal, physical, mental and sexual happen every other day at the hands of both men and women of society. And each time, it is the victimized woman who is blamed.

The only solution I see is a drastic change in the mentality and thinking of people happening on a large range. The people of India who were once famous for holding the best moral values, needs to learn the lesson of morality again. They need to understand that their one act of misbehavior could be the worst memory of somebody’s life. We must realize how the Indian society has failed as a whole, that today we need to put on badges like “I respect Women” to let the women know that they are safe and respected. Is it not shameful that the people of other countries will have to judge us not by our attitude and behavior but by the badges on our shirts?

It is high time, that we the people of India decide what we want to do. It is our choice, it’s in our hands. Do we want India to be safe for every woman (Indian or Western)? Or do we want India to be branded world-wide as a country of women exploiters unsafe for female tourists? Burning of fire-cracks at every Indian victory in a cricket match is not patriotism. If anybody really cares about India and its people, one must first learn to treat women with respect and as an inseparable and equally important part of the society. The Government, need to implement an elaborate education and awareness campaigns and workshops if it really means to imprint in the minds of the people the words “I respect Women” that are supposed to be printed on badges. People should also be made aware of their legal rights and about the punishments that are handed over to people who commit these crimes. Men and women must take initiative and volunteer to carry forward such social awareness programs on a large scale so that it reaches one and all. Schools should come forward with programs to train young girls in self-defense. It was reported some time ago (Indian Express, January 10, 213) about Maharashtra government’s proposals to open a special wing of Mumbai Crime Branch, specifically to investigate crimes against women. It was also proposed that some of the fast-track courts would be specifically used for dealing with crimes against women. Such proposals must be implemented throughout the country in all cities and towns. Every police station, especially in the cities must have a separate division to register and promptly take action against crimes committed on women. A patrolling squad consisting of people from the immediate neighborhood must be formed everywhere in the cities to monitor and prevent any untoward incidents against women. The people who volunteer for such patrolling duties must be adequately trained by the Police. Unless and until the government takes some positive initiatives regarding the education of the masses about the need to change the social outlook towards women that currently has nothing but contempt for them and also implement measures to check and prevent the crimes that are committed on women, the present decision to print badges with taglines “I respect women” printed on them would be nothing more than a political posturing.

Rape and Society

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Pratyasha Gupta
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“Rape”-Though a small word with four letters, it conveys a meaning of a very horrible experience a woman undergoes. It destroys the life of its victim both social and psychological which results in her committing suicide or living the entire life with the feeling of shame, guilt, isolation and apathy that society imposes on her. I don’t know which one is worse-the death of the body or the torture of the soul. Rape and other sexual assaults are the only crime, the only atrocity in which, the victim is seen as the culprit and the real culprit, those men who are sexual offenders go without any criticism. No one in society in general, thinks or cares about the torture the victims face and willingly turn a blind eye about the fact that the torture and suffering experienced by the rape victims are more psychological than physical. In case of physical suffering it is right to blame only the rapist as the culprit, but in case of psychological suffering, the whole society, especially the people in immediate surroundings in which the victim lives after the incident share the blame. And it’s not just one or two cases in a month; it’s been like a ritual. From past few years, not a day goes by without a news report about someone or the other being raped or sexually assaulted.

Whenever a rape case catches the fancy of the media and the society at large, people react saying punish the guilty, but the question is- Who is the guilty? Who is the real culprit? Is it just the one person who commits the act, the one who thinks that every woman in the country is made for his pleasure, to fulfill his fantasy? Or the whole society, which has no idea about how many of such maniacs are hiding inside it due to the society being blind towards the offender and instead showing apathy and condemnation towards the victim?

It doesn’t mean I am not in favor to punish the guilty. He must definitely be punished, as whomever he is or whatever may be his past, under whatever circumstances he may have been raised, he always had a choice to do the right or to do the easy. Yes, it must have been very easy and definitely very enjoyable for him to pick a girl, rape her, kill/abandon her and run away but it was not right at all. I am a Woman and if you ask me, I will tell you that I am not able to forget a single incident of molestation I had faced in my life. And there is not a single woman I have come across who has not faced at least one incident of eve-teasing or molestation during their life time. Sometimes it may be your own collogues at offices or someone whom you recognize from your neighborhood and at other times, it may be some random guy on street. All the incidents might not be brutal but they hurt the victim very deeply. It is something that the victim can never forget.

If this is the state of women who have faced molestation, then is it even possible to imagine the condition of the women who have been brutally raped? As time passes by the rapist may forget the incident, but how will she, the victim (if by any chance she lives, after this horrible incident) forget the experience ever? And as a ‘responsible’ society what do we do? How do “We”, the people of the society react? We make a gossip out of it. We tell it to others with colorful phrases like “Oh that poor girl, she has been raped” or “You know what so-and-so has been raped” showing fake sympathy. Or we react by completely ending any relationship we or anybody we know had with that victim. This is a shameful reaction. These people often forget that, the raped woman could have been their spouse, their daughter or sister. The phrase “could have been a part of our own family” has become pretty popular these days but have achieved nothing. It only goes to show that these are nothing but empty words without any genuine concern or care towards the victim. Then of course there is also the fear in many household of getting shunned and abandoned by society if they are seen as remotely sympathetic or helping the victim. So ultimately, the result is,  a woman who has been raped but who wishes to start life all over again by forgetting the horrible incident, is forced by the society to re-live the experience again and again without being ever able to over-come them, forget them. This means, that after being victimized once by a person or a group of people, she becomes the victim for the life-time because of us, the society.

There are few cases where, a girl has been kidnapped, raped, then been sold, again raped, and it continued for days and sometimes months. I find myself going blank when I think about such incidents; I don’t know what to write. The pain of the victim here is beyond my imagination. I don’t understand how a person, a ‘man’ can be so sick to involve in such a heinous act. Does he really deserve to be called a “man”? And knowing that this kind of people are living among us, gives me shrills.

Every other day we get to hear from one or the other politicians, educationists or even the common men and women of the neighborhood give out flimsy reasons for sexual crimes like women are at fault because they wear revealing clothes or that the girl who was raped was of questionable character etc. I have few simple questions for such people. What about villages? Are they free from rapes? Women at villages mostly wear either sarees or salwar suits.Why do  they also face the same assaults as Urban women? And what about kids and older women, what revealing clothes they may wear to get raped?  Do small children understand anything about sex? What about some of the Muslim women who wear Hijab and Burqa, all their life and still get raped? Therefore, there is no guarantee that if the woman is all covered up, she wouldn’t be raped. Women will continue to face sexual assaults till the time society keeps forwarding such excuses, till the time, they are going to be blamed for it. As long as society does not stand with the woman, who is a victim, support her, support her fight to retain her honor, I do not think there is any solution at all. All the laws passed and implemented will become useless, if a change in society’s attitude towards women is not brought.  Until the time, society does not consider women are its integral part, and honor their freedom, their dignity, until every person both men and women understand their duties and perform it, the issue of sexual assaults or any other kind of crime will not end.

Recently as many cases of rapes came to light, bizarre commentaries of our leaders began to catch the headlines as well. One was “lowering marriage age can stop rapes”. Basically the idea behind this was to provide every guy, a girl, as soon as possible so that instead of him picking up a girl from outside, he will have one as his own property to rape and assault whenever he wish for and there will be no complaints as everything will happen within the ambit of ‘marriage’. Firstly, the very idea of sexual abuse in the name of marriage is disgusting to say the least. Secondly, even if for arguments sake we accept the proposition that marriage is solution to rape, we need to ask ourselves- Whether all the men who committed rape were unmarried? Whether the women who faced the abuse were all unmarried? The answer is a straight “NO”. Marriages and Rapes have no co-relation.

Another statement by a politician that made headlines was by Mamata Banerjee, the chief minister of West Bengal who said “Rapes happening because men and women are interacting more freely”. The statement makes no sense at all. She is a woman and she is a politician. Nobody can survive in public life without interacting with other people both men and women. Not all interaction between opposite sexes is about sex. People interact for number of reasons both personal and professional. It is very immature to suggest that free interaction leads to sexual crimes. Are our leaders suggesting that our society be talibanized, where all personal rights and liberty of women are violated? Because it is horrible if we expect our girls not to interact with people or cover themselves from head to toe or get married in their teenage.

There are many more such commentaries passed by our leaders every other day. But all these statements prove one thing for sure that this is the real face of our society as these people in power are selected by us and not by some foreigners. We came to know about their opinions because these people are well known personalities. Their opinions in a sense reflect the mindset of the entire society. It is the society which has supported and sustained these leaders and their prejudiced, immature and highly disturbing mentality. And as long as this mindset of looking down on womenfolk, blaming them for every issue, trying to control them and exploit them prevails in the society, nothing no law, no sermons, no protests can stop the rapes and other sexual crimes from happening. 

The next issue I would like to write about is the kind of movies & songs the Bollywood is producing. I am not against the movie industry as a whole, but only to its increasing portrayal of women as Sexual objects.  The songs with a vulgar lyrics and an actress dancing to that surrounded by 20 to 30 people lurking for her has become very common in the recently produced movies. This portrayal of women is not only offending to women but also encourages such views and opinions that already exist in the society. No accountability and moral responsibility is exhibited in the movies that are made. I believe that, Bollywood is leading the society in a wrong direction just for the sake of business. Why I said leading is because there are lot many people who are inspired from these movies, their actors and actresses.  Many of them try to ape the things that they see in the movies. Further, the Bollywood’s portrayal of women as a sexual object in a sense justifies and reinforces the perversions of many people who view women as nothing but objects to be used for pleasure and for producing kids.

It’s not totally the mistake of Bollywood as such because they are making and selling such movies because people at large are buying it. But should the movie-making be reduced to pure business taking art, creativity and moral responsibility out of the equation? Who is making sex look uglier day by day? Who is presenting sex as the one and only purpose of life? Visual mediums do leave a deeper imprint on the viewer’s mind. Should there be no accountability and responsibility attached to those who produce the movies?

After the Delhi bus rape case, lots of questions are rising in my mind; the most striking one is “what if I was one of them who saw her unconscious in the need of help, would I have helped her?” It’s very easy to say a yes but the truth is I just don’t know the answer. But one thing is for sure that I don’t want to see any girl in such a horrible state ever. And if I do, I don’t want to back off. Just giving a rape victim names like “Damini, nirbhaya, jagruti, amanat” or lighting candles to protest is not going to solve the problem. Helping her when she is in need is a must. I wonder what the people might be thinking after knowing that the girl that night they avoided was tortured and was in need of help and now is dead. Are they able to live a normal life? Don’t they feel guilty? Don’t they fear that one day one of their family members may suffer in the same way? 

As a girl my only request to the society is that when you find a girl who has been raped, try not to make judgement about her character, there is no girl on earth who would like to be treated as the girl in the “Delhi Bus rape case” has been treated. Even the very thought of such incident scares the hell out of a girl. She is not responsible if some people are thinking filthy about her; it is such people who always find an excuse to sexual harass some girl or defend somebody who does it. The only thing any woman will expect from the society is for them to understand that even she wants to live freely without any fear of any kind and it’s the society’s responsibility to make the world safe for her. Even if she is a prostitute, one has no right to mistreat her. She is a part of society and she deserves your respect. It is my sincere request to every person of the society both men and women alike- if you know some girl who has been raped, then stop treating her as if she is diseased, try to help her in rebuilding her life, inspire her to move on, if possible help in punishing the rapist and make sure that your son or brother doesn’t become one. And if you know someone who is mistreating any girl, take a stand about it? Hiding your girls inside some cabinet wouldn’t save them, if you really wish to save them, help them in living a life as normally as you do. If you do only this much I believe you can change the society at least a little bit. After all “We Are The Society”.